If this is not impressive, I don't know what is
One of the assessment scales for C2 Proficiency writing has one mysterious word that always makes me and every test taker smile: "Text is organized impressively..." (Organisation band 5). Impressively - how is that?
My interpretation is "impressively" means the text flows because the ideas are organized logically and are well connected. I want to share an answer that demonstrates what I am talking about.
The answer below was written by Yulia Dmitrieva.
Task:
Answer:
Hardly had the scarcity of WWII been forgotten when we became a society of consumption, one with what seems to be an insatiable appetite for products of all types and kinds. It is only inevitable that since then we also have become one that is often called a throwaway society simply because goods are discarded as often as they are purchased. What is it that drives us to rush for bargains and then just get rid of the items bought without any remorse or regret? And what are the consequences of such habits?
One of the reasons for increasing consumption is the fact that manufacturers started promoting their goods much more aggressively than before the war in an attempt to boost ailing economies. Advertising became ubiquitous, nudging the consumer in the direction of stores and supermarkets. Additionally, manufacturers began playing the vanity card, claiming that their product is far from a mere necessity but rather a status symbol, thus encouraging buyers to keep up with the Joneses. These days, there is one more factor: the ever-growing pace of technological development which pushes people to buy the latest makes and cutting-edge devices. What also contributes to the never ending demand is the fact that buying new is often cheaper than fixing or mending the item. Whatever the reason, the outcome is always the same – immense landfill sites and oceans becoming our new dumping grounds.
Yet, we often see ourselves as a society of conscientious consumers. Many of the things that get thrown away can be and are recycled nowadays. Nevertheless, we remain blissfully unaware of how little is being done. Not only members of the general public but also presidential administrations often choose to ignore the signs of the climate change brought about by overconsumption. Somehow, we seem to be overlooking the other components of the formula – reduce and reuse.
In conclusion, it could be debated what the roots of the thirst for material goods are. However, if we find strength to eschew compulsive shopping and thus reduce the number of items bought and ultimately produced, if we reuse what we already have, then we will be able to put a stop to the throwaway culture.
Color me impressed.
Test takers always look for life hacks, fixed expressions, and templates. But at C2 they can be a hindrance. A lot of course books give templates like: write about the first text with the help of "The first text argues," then write about the second text with the help of "The author of the second text claims." These, however, often prevent students from organizing and connecting their ideas. As a result, what I often see in C2 Proficiency Writing Task 1 is that the answer consists of two independent mini-essays - one about the first text and one about the second text. Such answers, albeit linguistically perfect, lose marks on all the scales except "Language."
Rather than reach for the familiar and convenient "The first text" etc, Yulia went for the ideas in the texts. She found the connection between them - causes and effects - and organized the answer accordingly.
So instead of focusing on templates, which I want to emphasize are not a mistake in themselves, focus on looking for, connecting, and organizing ideas. This is how you achieve that mysterious level "impressively."
My interpretation is "impressively" means the text flows because the ideas are organized logically and are well connected. I want to share an answer that demonstrates what I am talking about.
The answer below was written by Yulia Dmitrieva.
Task:
Read the two texts below. Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible, and include your own ideas in your answers.
Answer:
Hardly had the scarcity of WWII been forgotten when we became a society of consumption, one with what seems to be an insatiable appetite for products of all types and kinds. It is only inevitable that since then we also have become one that is often called a throwaway society simply because goods are discarded as often as they are purchased. What is it that drives us to rush for bargains and then just get rid of the items bought without any remorse or regret? And what are the consequences of such habits?
One of the reasons for increasing consumption is the fact that manufacturers started promoting their goods much more aggressively than before the war in an attempt to boost ailing economies. Advertising became ubiquitous, nudging the consumer in the direction of stores and supermarkets. Additionally, manufacturers began playing the vanity card, claiming that their product is far from a mere necessity but rather a status symbol, thus encouraging buyers to keep up with the Joneses. These days, there is one more factor: the ever-growing pace of technological development which pushes people to buy the latest makes and cutting-edge devices. What also contributes to the never ending demand is the fact that buying new is often cheaper than fixing or mending the item. Whatever the reason, the outcome is always the same – immense landfill sites and oceans becoming our new dumping grounds.
Yet, we often see ourselves as a society of conscientious consumers. Many of the things that get thrown away can be and are recycled nowadays. Nevertheless, we remain blissfully unaware of how little is being done. Not only members of the general public but also presidential administrations often choose to ignore the signs of the climate change brought about by overconsumption. Somehow, we seem to be overlooking the other components of the formula – reduce and reuse.
In conclusion, it could be debated what the roots of the thirst for material goods are. However, if we find strength to eschew compulsive shopping and thus reduce the number of items bought and ultimately produced, if we reuse what we already have, then we will be able to put a stop to the throwaway culture.
Color me impressed.
Test takers always look for life hacks, fixed expressions, and templates. But at C2 they can be a hindrance. A lot of course books give templates like: write about the first text with the help of "The first text argues," then write about the second text with the help of "The author of the second text claims." These, however, often prevent students from organizing and connecting their ideas. As a result, what I often see in C2 Proficiency Writing Task 1 is that the answer consists of two independent mini-essays - one about the first text and one about the second text. Such answers, albeit linguistically perfect, lose marks on all the scales except "Language."
Rather than reach for the familiar and convenient "The first text" etc, Yulia went for the ideas in the texts. She found the connection between them - causes and effects - and organized the answer accordingly.
So instead of focusing on templates, which I want to emphasize are not a mistake in themselves, focus on looking for, connecting, and organizing ideas. This is how you achieve that mysterious level "impressively."
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