IELTS Writing Task 2: the most important factors for achieving happiness


I want to share a great IELTS essay written in my "Writing with New Scientist" course. The author is the wonderful Anna Skopina. Just look at the plethora of cohesive devices she used (I highlighted some to make sure you notice). 

Task: Some people think that economic well-being is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others think that there are other factors involved in happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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Some people claim that financial well-being is of paramount importance to an individual’s happiness, whereas others are convinced that other factors contribute more to life satisfaction. I am going to discuss both views and agree with the latter.

One view is that money plays the most important role in people’s quality of life. This could be explained by a certain correlation between economic well-being and the level of life-satisfaction, with rich people in general being more satisfied with their lives than poor ones. Since money gives access to various opportunities, be it education, healthcare or entertainment, people tend to equate wealth with a happy and fulfilled life. What is more, everyone in the modern world is aware of the suffering the poor have to endure, often having no access to even the most basic needs such as food and clean water. This gives rise to the idea that eradicating poverty should be humanity’s top priority, which in turn results in a fixation on money, suggesting that people’s happiness depends on their economic well-being.

However, economic well-being does not necessarily translate into a high level of average life satisfaction as there are other factors involved. One of them is a reduced level of inequality in that the smaller the gap between the rich and the poor is, the happier people are. This can be explained by people’s inherent tendency to be competitive and to compare their income to that of others, which consequently means that people are content with their lives only when they do not consider themselves much poorer than those around them. Another factor is that people, being social creatures, tend to attach great importance to social bonds and ties they forge with each other. Without these ties, people struggle to find meaning and purpose in life even if they are provided with everything in terms of material comfort. For example, during recent lockdowns caused by the covid-19 pandemic, many people who were financially well-off still suffered acutely from isolation and loneliness. All of these factors can dispel the idea that money plays a prime role in people’s happiness.

To conclude, while economic well-being is important, it is far from being the only factor that influences people’s life satisfaction. It cannot be denied that equality as well as social ties contribute to people's life satisfaction no less, if not more, than money.

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It might sound counter-intuitive, but it's in this course that I get some of the best IELTS essays. Why? First, students write on topics they've read about, so coming up with ideas is much easier - that's one obstacle out of the way. Second, the pesky cohesion - one of the things we work on a lot - also comes easier because it comes from context and we have more time to scrutinize it. Finally, lexis is usually better too - less common and more academic. 

My unique course "Writing with New Scientist" is perfect for people who have taken IELTS and want to stay in a good writing shape and for people who are considering taking an academic test some time in the future but don't want to focus on the format yet. 

Image credit: Photo by Stan B on Unsplash

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